User talk:Makitstop
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the The Blue Man page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! SoPretentious (talk) 16:09, July 13, 2016 (UTC) Story deletion Your story has been deleted because it doesn't meet the wiki's quality standards. If you feel that it did meet the standards, please state your case on Deletion Appeal. Make sure you follow the instructions to the letter there, or your appeal will be automatically denied. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REUPLOAD YOUR PASTA. If you upload it again, you'll receive a 1-day ban from editing, as per the rules. Read the Deletion FAQ and our Style Guide for Writing for details on the 'what' and 'why' of the deletions we make. Read this guide and these blog posts for further details on how you can improve your story/stories to make them meet our quality standards. For additional help, submit your story to the Writer's Workshop for feedback. Jay Ten (talk) 11:48, August 13, 2016 (UTC) Re: If you're too lazy to bother with something as simple as capitalization, then this isn't the place for you. The standards have changed, and we are constantly working to delete older stories that don't meet the current standards. If you change your mind and do want to improve your writing, please read over our How to Write Creepypasta page, writing advice pages, style guide, and consider using our writer's workshop for feedback. Jay Ten (talk) 12:58, August 13, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 14:09, January 22, 2017 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 14:09, January 22, 2017 (UTC) Re: Story You repeated a lot of mistakes that were present in your other story "The Ringmaster" that Jay warned you about. I'm sorry, but there are a lot of issues here for a story that is basically a page and a half. You don't capitalize proper nouns. ("Before you all read this i need to say this post contains minor themes of violence", "Eventually i ended up beating the game, the ending i got involved the assassin poisoning some food", "I replayed the game very recently and went through all the steps i had to", etc.) You also forget to capitalize the start of sentences. ("happened. many colors began flashing on screen"). You forget to properly punctuation contractions. ("after that they felt extreme depression or at least that(')s what i read and now...that's what i know.", "Now i can(')t feel joy anymore", etc.). There are also a lot of homophone and wording issues. ("the mother eating it instead of the children, the mother dies and than (then) the credits rolled", "Suddently (sic) i heard a voice, it said(comma missing) "Have a happy end...Than (then) a sad end...And finally...A dead end".", "The voice kept repeating these words until they where (were) edged (etched) into my mind", "It(')s game over for me...Goodbye.", etc.) There are also a lot of basic spelling errors a spellcheck program would catch. ("I'm not shure you can find it anymore", ""Suddently (sic) i heard a voice, it said", Even if we were to ignore all of those mechanical issues (note: there were other issues present, but I think that's enough to start with), there are frankly a lot of issues with the story itself. There's very little description that doesn't really create a sense that the video game exists. Lines like: "As the game progressed it got slightly less dark oddly enough" and "I replayed the game very recently and went through all the steps i had to." need explanation and detail to make them interesting. To not describe them makes it hard to get into a story as it leaves the events feeling bland and without much to grab the audience's attention. Story issues cont.: The story feels very rushed. Take a look at the climax of the game itself for an example. This sentence: "With the assassin close behind but as luck would have it a police officer was tailing the assassin and when the assassin pulled out a dagger the cop shot the assassin." feels lacking due to the fact that there's very little set-up here or tension in the scene. Feel free to look at other video game stories on the site to see how they handle plot and events. Story issues final: There are more issues with the plot but as this is getting longer than the story itself, I'll cover a few more things and wrap it up. "Now i cant feel joy anymore...And in another month... I will hit my dead end." You should really cut back on ellipses. Once or twice is fine, but 10+ in the span of a few paragraphs kind of defeats their purpose. Additionally how does the protagonist know they're going to die? You mention having looked up this information about the ending, but neglect to cover the other people playing it dying. If this happens to all people who get the ending (enough so that they post their sentiments after beating the game), why would the protagonist play through the game and actively try to get that ending? I'm sorry, but there are a lot of issues here and a lot of them are more than just easily avoidable mechanical issues. This is why I read and deleted your story. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 14:44, January 22, 2017 (UTC) :"also i just wanted to menchion i'm not from the US so i spell certain words differently for example i spell "then" as "than" cause thats what i learned at school" Actually that is incorrect, than and then are not region specific spelling. In any English-derrived language (British, American, etc.) they both imply two different things and are not interchangeable. As for bringing back your story, I think you should read the above message. The story needs a massive overhaul and re-writing. This isn't something that can be fixed in a few minutes by carefully re-reading the story and correcting the issues pointed out as I've noted above that the issues listed above aren't all the issues present in the story. I'd suggest focusing on your next story and taking it to the writer's workshop (link in deletion message) before attempting to upload it to the site. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 14:58, January 22, 2017 (UTC) Oh, sweetheart, I'm being a douchebag to you because you called me one just because I did my job of tagging your story for deletion. Respect is won, not by default, I don't offer any if you don't show any. And I didn't insult your story, I told you my honest opinion about it. I wouldn't have called it "shitty" if you would have been respectful in your comment. You bring the bodies, I handle the rest (talk) 14:58, January 22, 2017 (UTC) Again, respect is earned. If you mean the replies to your first comment on the blog, you called half of the stories on this site "real bad shit", then you posted something that is reaaaally bellow the standards. I'm sorry, how can I be respectful when you insult our site in such a way and then posted such a story? Intentional or not, that's hypocrisy. You bring the bodies, I handle the rest (talk) 15:08, January 22, 2017 (UTC) These are the Quality standards. It's my job to tag any page that doesn't meet them. I don't tag stories just because I don't like them, there are several stories here that I dislike but meet the standards, and the admins don't just delete them because they are tagged. You bring the bodies, I handle the rest (talk) 15:20, January 22, 2017 (UTC) It doesn't meet most standards, not just some. That's irrelevant because none of the standards are optional because, again, they're just reasonable standards. Your story just has to be average to meet the standards, not perfect. And Jeff the Killer isn't posted on this site, except for JTK 2015, which is a much better version. Also, when posting messages add ~~~~ after your message. It makes it much easier to separate the messages and find the messenger. You bring the bodies, I handle the rest (talk) 15:32, January 22, 2017 (UTC) It's irrelevant how different or similar it is compared to the original as long as it meets the QS. You bring the bodies, I handle the rest (talk) 15:44, January 22, 2017 (UTC) :I'm sorry you feel that way, hopefully you'll take that feedback to heart if you decide to keep writing elsewhere and trying to improve your skills. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 15:52, January 22, 2017 (UTC) ::No problem, I suggest using the writer's workshop if you have any intent to post here. Hope you're practicing your writing on other sites. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 14:13, March 26, 2017 (UTC) Hi I am sorry that the stuff was not regional spelling. I suggest reading a lot of books. If you want, I can check the grammar of your stories before you post them. If not, I can send you stories that you can use. But you do not have to care. I am only --Squidmanescape (talk) 03:56, January 23, 2017 (UTC), after all. Re: Insanity Category As we already have the Mental Illness category, it's a bit redundant to have an "Insanity" category as well. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 19:33, March 26, 2017 (UTC) Response to Response Thank you for responding. You can speak to --Squidmanescape (talk) 01:25, March 27, 2017 (UTC) on his talk page if you do need help with that sort of thing. Question This is in response to what you asked Empy. Because horror is subjective it's hard to say whether the story will or will not count. This site does only accept horror stories, but that's a very vague definition. I highly recommend you post to the workshop and you can message either me or Empy and we'll let you know if it's acceptable for the site ChristianWallis (talk) 08:07, April 25, 2017 (UTC)